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Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Security Guard is a Dipshit  


Ok, not really but thats what he is expecting to find so I couldn't not write it!

He started asking me tonight what I do as a day job, so I told him I ran a website where I wrote reviews. The next question was what kind of reviews and I just said movies and all kinds of stuff.

I didn't tell him about this site or that I reviewed sex toys and porn, I told him how to find my other site though and it doesn't take many brain cells to find your way from there. Next weeks conversations should be interesting.

I did warn him that he might find a post where I mentioned him, so he will be on the look for it and won't find it on my other site. (Psst. you will have to check out the Penis Bandz review!). When I told him that he said You aren't supposed to review that kind of thing! (Referring to himself and our late night encounters, I assume) Well, I'll show him! I can't seem to pick anything up without going over the details in my head on how I would review it. People are no different.

Let's see, the Security Guard comes with an average build and stands 5'10-5'11. He's funny, confident, and full of questions. Possibly a little forgetful but he makes up for that with his spunk and sense of humor. Are you sold yet? He comes off as an innocent regular guy, but I see that gleam in his eye. He's got a naughty side like the rest of us.

He wanted me to check out a website that he designed for his friend, and I told him I was looking to redesign mine soon too. Well Mr Security Guard, I checked out that site and you are right - way too many fucking animations. You really gotta tell your buddy to get those out of there. Add more gallery images to the homepage and shorten the width - I had to scroll my screen to see the entire page and that shit drives me crazy! {ETA: Checked this on the laptop and the width is fine with the widescreen, but I still think you should make it smaller for 1200 res monitors} Enable the sidebar menu on all pages and tone down the size of the header for a cleaner look. I wish him luck with it!

Onto other things, Friday night I decided I was sick of waiting for my Mom to take me for the haircut she promised for my birthday and cut it myself instead. It was pretty long, but was thinning drastically because of so many split ends. I cut it up to my shoulders and surprisingly did a pretty good job, it's straight at least. I dyed it today with some dye I was sent to review. The color was Deep Burgundy which turned out to be an almost black almost purple shade. I like it! It looks good with my pink extensions and my hair feels much better now that it's shorter.

On my way home from work tonight I totally ran a red light. All the lights up the strip were blinking yellow so when I saw a yellow light coming up I assumed it was blinking too. I was half way through before I noticed it was red! Good thing the traffic camera faces the opposite direction at that intersection.

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2 comments: to “ The Security Guard is a Dipshit

  • November 7, 2010 at 6:58 AM  

    Hilarious! That's a fantastic story. You know, I personally don't get the fascination kids have with these silly bandz, but I guess they're like the friendship bracelets we wore back in my day.

    If I won a pack of them, I'd hand them out at zumba, just to see the ladies' reactions. As much as those women like to bump and grind to the music, I think they've earned 'em. ;)

  • November 7, 2010 at 4:49 PM  

    Don't forget to enter my giveaway if you want to win some! They are really cute!