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Saturday, November 6, 2010

Penis Bandz  


So last night at work started out as a pretty quiet night. I seemed to be making good time and once the bar closed I had a few minutes to spare while I waited for all the customers to leave and headed off to use the washroom.

On entering, I heard the telltale shuffling of feet which gave off the fact that there wasn't one, but two people in the handicap stall. Then a mans chuckle followed by his voice I'm whacking off in the womens washroom!

Don't ask me why I chose the stall right fucking next to the Handicap, buy hey, I had to pee. I could make out the sounds of making out and heavy petting and thought I can handle that. As I picture the scene going on just inches from me my juices start flowing and I sit down, just in time for the pounding on the wall next to me to start.

How the hell am I supposed to pee with that going on?

I pulled my pants up so quick that I almost got my panties in a knot and banged on the wall. Hey buddy! You wanna buy a sex toy? They continued on as though they hadn't heard me, her moans now echoing through the bare walls of the washroom. My own loins now anxious to be caressed. Shit they are having sex against the wall, my ultimate favorite position.

Hey Buddy, do you need some Penis Bandz?!

With that, laughter rang out and all activity stopped. The door slowly opens and the ruggedy handsome man sheepishly comes out; disheveled black hair, white shirt untucked and black tie loosened, clean shaven. I'd like a turn in the stall now sir I think to myself, but then I snap back to reality. I work here, I need to be a cock block for the night.

Way to go man, Here are your Penis Bandz. Holding out the comical silicone bands. They are like Mardi Gras beads, only you earned them for daring to have sex in the womens washroom of a busy hotel! Laughter again, as the young woman in a gorgeous black mini dress and knee highs creeps out of the stall.

Awesome! Where can we get some more? They asked in sync. You can try the next hotel, I told them, Or you can head over to where you can buy them in a package of 12!

Afterwards, I of course had to spread the news to the other staff while giving out a round of Penis Bandz. The new security guard "enjoys my company" a little more than the rest of the staff, and pressed for more detail. Did it sound like he was good?

Well Sure, he was able to do her against the wall and thats fucking hot all by itself. Without skipping a beat the Security Guard calmly stated, That's nothing, I could hold you up without the wall. Give me a chance to earn those Penis Bandz.


The above true story (with artistically altered details) is just one of the many ways you can have fun with your Penis Bandz. I received a few packages in order to do this review and I think they are hilarious! These penis bracelets are a must have for any adult party or random act of public exposure. (Think Bars, Colleges, Bachelorette Parties)

If you enjoyed my review, you should check out their equally hilarious FAQ!

Win it!
Six of you will win your own pack of 12 Penis Bandz!
Open Worldwide, Ends November 20th

How to Enter:
Check out the Penis Bandz website and leave me a comment telling me what you would do with your Penis Bandz?

Extra Entries:
Leave me a comment relevant to the above review.
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Check out the new @PenisBandz and enter to win a little dick from @MisfitMomma! The Giveaway ends November 20th

Feel free to change the tweets wording if you'd like, but please make sure to include the Twitter handles and link!

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